So I'm going to tell you one of my favorite jokes. It's dirty, and it involves little kids, so don't say I didn't warn you.

Okay, so the toughest part of the day for most kindergarten teachers is nap time, right? Imagine, if you can, how hard it must be for a lone adult to get 25 or 30 four-to-six-year-old yard apes to all put their heads on their desks at the same time.

So anyway, this one teacher thinks she's got the problem solved, right? So one day, she comes into class with a bag of chocolate kisses. And when it's nap time, she says, "Put your heads on your desks, and close your eyes...and when you wake up, you'll get a surprise."

So it works, and all the little kids put their heads on their desks at once. And so then, the teacher walks around the room and puts a chocolate kiss on each little kid's desk.

Well, nap time's over eventually, and the kids get up, and they find the chocolate kisses and are pretty thrilled with themselves. But this one little boy has never seen a chocolate kiss before, and the shape of it and the silver wrapper and everything are kind of weirding him out. So he says to the teacher, "Teacher, what is this?"

So she's a teacher, right, and she wants him to figure it out for himself, so she says, very sweetly and patiently, "Well...this is what your mommy gives your daddy every night before they go to sleep."

And the little girl behind the little boy grabs his shoulder and whispers in his ear:

"Don't eat it! It's a piece of ass!"