terrible twos

Working on the "get 'em while they're young" theory, Nine Inch Nails will be making a holiday appearance on Sesame Street and have written a new song to commemorate the occasion:

terrible twos

Hey kid, why are you doing this to me?
I'm just the babysitter, not your mommy or daddy
You need to learn to use your potty when you have to pee
You've filled your diaper and the smell is really blinding me

Terrible twos
Terrible twos
Terrible twos
Terrible twos

Hey kid, let's change the channel on the TV
I'm sick of Muppet Babies, Little Mermaid, and Barney
It's not too soon to introduce you to ol' Ren and Stimpy --
Heck, let's see what Nine Inch Nails is doin' over on MTV

Terrible twos
Terrible twos
Terrible twos
Terrible twos

[kid voice]

"Don't take it away from me I need a blanky to hold on to
Don't take it away from me I need a blanky to hold on to
Don't take it away from me I need a blanky to hold on to
Don't take it, don't take it
Don't take it, don't...
MOMMMMMMMMMMY!!!"

Hey kid, there's nothing left for me to do
I played your horsey 'til my knees were black and blue
I fed you strained peas and you spat 'em clear across the room
I'd like to star you in a final death-match game of DOOM

Terrible twos
Terrible twos
Terrible twos
Terrible twos

Your butt is full of diaper rash
You made the antique vase go CRASH!
You make me wanna run away
There ain't enough your folks could pay

Good thing for you you're cute as sin
Else I'd have long since done you in
But infanticide is not the way
To make you listen and obey

-- robert payes