i am the voice inside your pants (and i control you)
i grow and shrink, I move and dance (and i control you)
i am where all your thoughts reside (and i control you)
i am the lump you try to hide (and i control you)

i tell you where you want to go
i tell you who you need to know
i fill the urge, i soothe the ache
mr. trouser snake

i send desire's message clear (and i control you)
i get all stiff when girls are near (and sometimes guys too)
i feel an urge you must relieve (which hands can well do)
bam! you've got smegma on your sleeve (just take the Longview)

i tell you where you want to go
i tell you who you need to know
sometimes a worm, sometimes a mandrake
mr. trouser snake

i am the plunger, you're the drain (and i declog you)
you are the tunnel, i'm the train (just call me choo-choo)
you are the water, i'm the oar (i'll paddle straight through)
i'm every phallic metaphor (i'm all around you)

i'm so damn big, my size can stun (and i can shock you)
i've got more mass than moon or sun (and most black holes, too)
i am a pretty sex machine (and running well, too)
i am exotic love cuisine (for those who want to)

i tell you where you want to go
i tell you who you need to know
hard as a pole, strong as a stake
mr. trouser snake

-- raeven