You gave me the Usenet
You urged me to call
I gave you my .newsrc file
And my .newsrc file you polled

Now you've got me spending all my time
Reading stuff online
Even posting to alt.barney.die.die.die
Ugly .sig blocks, crossposts, and flames flames flames

It comes down to this
Mail lists
Insist
I sign up and the e-mail pours in
My head spins
I begin
Reading Usenet with tin

Trekkies posting fanfics
I've waded through a load
Smutty GIFs of Traci Lords
I run 'em through uudecode

You would think I had time to waste
It's a real disgrace
All these messages running past my face
And if my editor won't quote
Then I'll have to cut and paste

It comes down to this
Mail lists
Insist
I sign up and the e-mail pours in
My head spins
I begin
Reading Usenet with tin

-- robert (dixie flatline) payes