Well, looks like Spring is officially here. I know this makes some of you happy, but it really pisses me off. I mean, we had no snow, no ice this winter -- in fact, it was rarely even cold! We had weeklong stretches of 80-degree weather as far back as January. Just two days ago the temperature reached 93 degrees here in good old Dallas. The smell of fresh-cut grass is in the air, as are the giant red wasps. It is officially Kleenex season. And on that note....

ode to spring

(Hey, Spring) Why are you doing this to me?
Am I a victim of your cross-pollination spree?
Why am I sneezing with this awful allergy?
I think you owe me a moment of sanity!

I'm gonna die!
I'm gonna die!
I'm gonna die!
I'm gonna die!

Why is it ragweed that you reap?
Salvation never comes, even in my sleep
Good antihistamines are not exactly cheap
Does this stuff really work? If not, I will weep!

I'm gonna die!
I'm gonna die!
I'm gonna die!
I'm gonna die!

Don't gimme post-nasal drip
I've used up my last tissue
Don't gimme post-nasal drip
I've used up my last tissue
Don't gimme
Don't gimme
Don't gimme don't gimme don't...

There's nothing left for me to try
So many medicines, and nothing will comply
My nose is running but my throat's completely dry
So much for "fast relief," it promised and it lied!

I'm gonna die!
I'm gonna die!
I'm gonna die!
I'm gonna die!

I have no Sudafed today
My Dimetapp has decayed
That Benadryl -- no way
I've taken everything!
My body's racked with a sneeze
My throat is begging you please
It really sucks -- this wheeze
I want a moment's relief!

I've used up my last tissue
I've used up my last tissue
I've used up my last tissue....

-- kate mccormack (with kt)

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