* dinky apartment dryer (the kind that overheats and shuts down before the cycle's over, which sends you frustrated to the laundromat, where the dryer bakes your clothes to a crackly crunch...and dedicated to all worse-than-useless sock-sucking machines everywhere)

there is no laundry left to dry tonight
no sign of my socks anywhere in sight
now there is nothing left but tags
once i had clothes now i have rags
don't want a soggy pair of jeans
i'd better clean out the lint screens

how does it feed?
how does it feed?
SOCK! SOCK! SOCK!

should dry my clothes out in the sun
this dryer quits before they're done
a sock motel without a doubt
the socks check in they don't check out
sucks all my socks 'til i have none
ruins my blouses one by one
it tears my skirts it burns my sheets
oh jesus what else will it eat?

how does it feed?
how does it feed?
SOCK! SOCK! SOCK!

this trap's so linty on the inside
this trap's so linty on the inside
this trap's so linty on the inside
this thing's so dirty on the backside...
EEEEEYUK!

how does it feed?
how does it feed?
SOCK!
SOCK!
SOCK!
SOCK!

a thousand zips a thousand threads
a thousand shirts it's ripped to shreds
a thousand melted tennis shoes
i want to tear all the parts out of you

-- kt (with kate mccormack)