map

While studying for my GIS (geographic information systems) exam, I was going slightly crazy, and I started writing BFPT's based on what I'm studying. I kinda like this one, and I was pretty sure that only fellow geography students would understand it -- but I was advised by Sean (Yoko Ono) Galbraith, a geography friend at Waterloo, to post it anyway.

It has to do with the use of satellites to determine coordinates on the Earth's surface, and the use of such data in mapping. (Oh god...I'm starting to scare myself.) In case you really care to understand the terminology (and I'm sure you all do...oooo, geography is just so exciting to learn about!), I footnoted it.

Anyway, here it is: based on "Suck"...

map

there are no satellites in the sky, tonight
no PRNs (1) anywhere in sight
this building here that i'm behind
blocks the signal, my receiver's blind
don't want the maps you try to sell (2)
i think i'll digitize one myself

how does it feel?
map! map! map!

PDOP (3) is sweeter than the sun
but with SA (4) i come undone
i bow my head to confess
the benchmarks (5) shift with rapidness
runs up to 100 feet off track
i think i'll break some general's back
i'll map this path
for a hefty fee
i'm Dr. Tinline (6) on ecstasy

how does it feel?
map! map! map!

i'm in geography... it's the darkside
i'm in geography... it's the darkside
i'm in geography... it's the darkside
nooo!

how does it feel?
map! map! map!

a thousand maps, a thousand scales
a thousand tests i'm bound to fail
a thousand answers that must be true
i want to show all of my maps to you

(1) PRN stands for Pseudo Range Node, which is a fancy name for the satellites.

(2) The Canadian government generally sells maps for $500 each.

(3) PDOP is Position Dilution Of Precision, an error induced in the position readings due to the geometry of the satellites in the sky.

(4) SA is Selective Availability, an error deliberately induced in the position readings by the U.S military. Basically, the military has set up the satellites so that they lie about the readings. This error can be up to 100 feet, and the value of the error changes every second. It can be corrected but is a real pain in the ass. (Hence the "breaking some general's back" line.)

(5) Benchmarks are positions of known coordinates; due to SA, though, the readings for the coords are not the true ones and shift all the time, even if the receiver is stationary.

(6) Dr Tinline is my crazy professor.

And now you're all saying, "Oh my, wasn't that thrilling." Well, it was! At least I think so. Maybe you just have to be in geography to understand the humor.

-- maura daffern