ASS PAIN
He gently sits on the pot
ASS PAIN
Wishes it would go away
ASS PAIN
Tears in his eyes begin to glisten
ASS PAIN
Getting it fixed becomes his mission

Lay down on your front and let me have a see
Nurse, hand me that butt light if you please
Tell me, does this hurt? Hmmm, oh, yes I see
It looks like, to my eye,
Your hemmorhoids need surgery

ASS PAIN
He tries to wipe but he can't follow through
ASS PAIN
His rectum's throbbing -- don't know what to do
ASS PAIN
He's got one thing to be thankful for
ASS PAIN
That this pain won't spread north to his balls

Breathe deep on the gas, I swear you won't feel a thing
But once you wake up your asshole's gonna sting
I am a doctor, take it from me
I looked hard, and I'm sure
Your hemmorhoids need surgery

I don't know where I am
I don't know where I've been
What the fuck is that tube coming out of my ass
Oh wait a minute, I see
I am in re-cov-e-ry
I just had my hemmorhoid surgery

-- buck satan