This page is not about Chick-Fil-A. This page is not about Chick-Fil-A. This page is not about Chick-Fil-A. This page is not about Chick-Fil-A. This page is not about Chick-Fil-A. This page is not about Chick-Fil-A. This page is not about Chick-Fil-A. This page is not about Chick-Fil-A. This page is not about Chick-Fil-A. This page is not about Chick-Fil-A. This page is not about Chick-Fil-A. This page is not about Chick-Fil-A. This page is not about Chick-Fil-A. This page is not about Chick-Fil-A. This page is not about Chick-Fil-A. This page is not about Chick-Fil-A. This page is not about Chick-Fil-A.
This page has been heavily censored due to the fact that the nimrod manager of the store we used to work at thought it was slanderous and threatened to sue us. On that note, I would like to make a statement to the above-mentioned gentleman on the matter of why we did, in fact, change the code for this page.
I am currently employed at CyberRamp Internet Services Provider in Dallas, and I would never do anything to bring ANY negative publicity to them, because they are not only a wonderful ISP, they are wonderful employers who care about their employees.
Having said that, hope and vaseline now presents the ALL NEW ChickFilet Machine.
-- andrew "meatpie" harrison
editor's note:
It's only slander if it isn't true. You be the judge. -- KT
A few years ago, two longtime friends and NIN fans spent their summer vacation cleaning raw chicken and "putting it down" in institutional pressure cookers as employees of ChickFilet at (CENSORED) Mall in (CENSORED), Texas. This dismal situation was only made worse by their abusive boss -- (CENSORED), the unit's owner/manager.
Late one night, during a particularly grueling after-hours degreasing session, the unfortunate wage apes found a half-melted cassette stashed behind an industrial-size Fry Daddy. The hand-scribbled label read only: "You know who you fucking are -- MTR."
They raced to the parking lot and jammed the tape into the cassette deck of a borrowed Pontiac Grand Am. The demos were crude and had a rushed quality, as if they'd been recorded in the bathroom during a break -- but they were instantly recognizable nonetheless. The NINnies then realized the truth: that pretty hate machine had been intended as a musical death wish to the detested (CENSORED), and that the true inspiration for Trent Reznor's first album was the kind of angst that can only come from spending the entire summer in a polyester uniform, working for a dirtbag with a bad attitude.
And so we bring you to the fine print in the secret history of NIN...
crispy little nugget
kinda like the crowd i was up way up in the mall and i was cooking some chicken you wouldn't believe sometimes i don't believe it myself and i decided i should probably put it down . just then a pretty little thing caught my eye she was, oh i'd say, just seventeen . but i watched her way too long and i forgot i'd put it down
crispy little nugget . i would never eat it
well eat up and tell me what, what the fuck does it taste like now . i was cooking in some grease that was popping real loud . and everything i never liked about fowl was kinda making me queasy . try to laugh about it now but it isn't very funny when you get your butt thrown out ("i guess the yolk's on me," he said)
crispy little nugget . i would never eat it
i used to work with grease and tongs . to clean fry daddys you have to be strong . i used to work at ChickFilet. i used to clean raw chicken . i used to eat grilled chick and fries. now it's just cold ramen for me and mike . i used to work for HIM. i used to clean raw chicken
i crossed (MY BOSS) and i want him to die didn't think he'd mind if i wasn't on time . and all he does is jump on my back and i don't give a fuck why . what i used to think was work is owned by a complete and total jerk . i looked him right in the eye and said "goodbye."
crispy little nugget . i would never eat it
plain plain or fillet the sandwiches are made this way
the only lime
i'm drunk . and cuervo shots are all i want to do . and i don't want to drink a beer that fills you up and makes you burp like some fat guy named lou . get my hands on a lemon or a lime and some salt and a glass . then i lick it suck it slam it and i fall on my ass . nothing quite like the sight of drunken fools
maybe i'll get tanked up . maybe i'll get tanked up with you
i swear . i just passed out and then came to . the friends in your house the worm in your glass are staring straight at you . well i want to drink it up and slam it down until i drown . i thought i was standing but i'm lying down . nothing quite like the sight of drunken fools
maybe i'll get tanked up . maybe i'll get tanked up with you
i can't help thinking Cuervo tastes a lot like piss
kinda i like chick
i can't shake the breading from this bird . there's an asshole screaming out fowl words . he's yelling at me from across the store . i can't reschedule so i can work boards
i know it's time for frying . and the crust on my hands is drying . but kinda i like chick
i'm not sure what i'm supposed to do . when i'm a trainee and everything is new . all of my dumb questions are turned to mike . maybe (HE) will treat him and me alike
i know it's time for frying . and the crust on my hands is drying . but kinda i like chick . kinda i like chick maybe just on this break . we can watch the billy ted tape . that's the price i pay . for working at ChickFilet
i like chick . i like chick (i'll take my break right now)
something i can never have (mickey d's mix)
i still recall the sound of styrofoam . wishing i had beef right now is like trying to bleed a stone . my favorite soft drink coke still washes it down . cooking chick-no-pic and fries until they're golden brown
you make me eat chick filet . you make me eat chick filet . i'm down to my last dime . and i'm going to starve myself . you make me eat chick filet . you make me eat chick filet . i just want big macs . i just want big macs and a chocolate shake
you always made me eat a number three . back then i didn't know how much i would miss mac d's this food is slowly making me get hooked . grey is the color before the food is cooked let's go to mac d's
you make me eat chick filet . you make me eat chick filet . i'm down to my last dime . and i'm going to starve myself . you make me eat chick filet . you make me eat chick filet . i just want big macs . i just want big macs and a chocolate shake
in this store it seems like such a shame . though it all tastes different now, i just want something plain . everywhere i look, fowl's all i see . just a fading fucking reminder of when i worked at mickey d's . let's go to mac d's
you make me eat chick filet . you make me eat chick filet . i'm down to my last dime . and i'm going to starve myself . you make me eat chick filet . you make me eat chick filet. i just want big macs . i just want big macs and a chocolate shake . i just want big macs and a chocolate shake
think i know what you meant . last night in the store . still picking at your food . i wish HE was dead . your sweat and dickies . just stains on the floor
If your job is this rough, consider this:
You could be Chris Vrenna.chick filet machine
as heard by andrew harrison and michael montague
but this is the only lime i could find in the fridge . this is the only lime i could find in the fridge
but this is the only lime i could find in the fridge . this is the only lime i could find in the fridge