"People kept wanting more from me," Reznor said in a recent interview. "They wanted more songs, more videos, more onstage antics. I just couldn't keep up with the demand. I figure the theme park ought to keep them busy for a while, while I get some rest."
Indeed. Upon entering the park, you immediately notice the difference between Ninnieland and other amusement complexes. For example, to gain access to the midway, you must fight your way through "Bouncer Alley," a jungle of heavy yellow punching bags with the word SECURITY printed on them.
Once you have fought your way through, you find yourself near the gaming booths. Step right up and try your hand at the "Head Like a Hole" bean bag toss, or the "Gottlieb Is A Prick" game, in which you attempt to throw darts at balloons bearing the image of Reznor's nemesis, Steve Gottlieb. And there are no cuddly animal prizes here -- at Ninnieland, you are more likely to take home a combustible "Mr. Self Destruct" doll, or a "Jerry-in-the-box": Wind the handle (as it plays the piano line from the nin hit "Closer"), and a likeness of Jerry Meltzer (nin's security chief) pops up and shouts,"You don't have the right pass to be back here."
But games are not what drew the largest crowds at Ninnieland. The rides are truly strokes of genius. There's something for everyone here. For the younger visitors, there's the Piggy-Go-Round, or you can sit back and be entertained by the ghostly antics as you ride through The Haunted Tate Mansion (both in the Halo 8 section of the park)
Feeling destructive? Pop over to the E-racer cars and join a demolition derby in which the cars all exhort you to smash them. Or take a spin through Mr. Pig's Wild Ride, a breathtaking journey to hell and back on a reckless tour bus.
As much fun as all the rides at Ninnieland are, the roller coasters are the true pieces de resistance. All of them, from the deceptively beautiful and slithery Reptile coaster to the sickening drops and curves of The Downward Spiral, are guaranteed by Reznor to be as exciting as any nin show. Going a little deeper into the park, in the halo 2 section you'll find the Ringfinger coaster, referred to by Reznor as "the ultimate fistfuck." After riding it, this writer has to agree, especially those triple twists....
If you get hurt, not to worry...the Familiar Sting infirmary is right next to the Downward Spiral 'coaster. A lovely greenhouse (heated by Reznor Heaters) provides A Warm Place for guests to rest their feet and play the interactive "What is Trent Whispering?" game. Thirsty? Try one of the many concoctions at the Soda Pop Will Eat Itself stand. And next door, if you need nourishment, you'll find Marilyn Manson's Lunchbox, where you can pick up some cake and (ahem) salami.
When darkness falls, you can line up along Nothing Street and watch the pageantry as Queenie and the Reznorettes lead the March of the Pigs parade through Ninnieland. If all this leaves you feeling romantic, the Get Down Make Love Motel is just across the way, in the halo 4 section.
The only low point in the park is the halo 5 section, in which all the rides seem to be out of order. When asked why he did not repair the broken attractions in time for the grand opening, Reznor replied with a smile, "I tried. I gave up." He says, however, that he has called in guest engineers and that the rides should soon be fixed.